it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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