i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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