Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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