Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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