the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Watching her eat just hurts me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
