I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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