i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
