how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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