I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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