I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
