Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
