i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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