He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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