I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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