i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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