My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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