Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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