There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
