i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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