I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
