Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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