WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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