I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Two words: blizzard sex
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
