I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
