I think im going to throw up on grandma
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize