I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
