We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My pussy is not your playground.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
