You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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