Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
