Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
