if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Come share oat with me in your robe
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
