We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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