you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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