We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
