So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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