Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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