I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
