I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
