nut hugger
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
