Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
