just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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