Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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