I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize