hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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