She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize