he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
