Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
