I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
