I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
