So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
