just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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