Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
