Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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