I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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