I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
this is an emotional support booty call
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
