Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
